Cohabitate and Survive the Holidays

While young couples may be putting off marriage, they aren’t delaying living together (Rhoades, Stanley, and Markman, 2009). Moving in together before marriage, or what is known as cohabitation, is becoming a common relationship step for most modern couples. Living with a partner has its difficulties, but during the holidays, it can drive both partners simply mad. Here are a few tips to help you and your partner come through this holiday season:

1. Let only one cook in the kitchen. You’d be surprised at how quickly your mate and you can go from cooing love birds to mortal enemies just because you tried to cook together. He might turn up the heat on your gravy too soon, leaving you shrieking a minute later when you realize it’s burning. Or you might add a few dashes of curry to spice up his noodle dish until he glares at you for your apparently crazy ideas.

If you’re not used to cooking with one another, it’s best to save that experience for another time when you’re not under the strain of preparing a holiday feast. To avoid any extra stress, make a schedule and pick separate times to cook in the kitchen.

2. Explain what traditions you’d like to have. Every family has their own unique traditions for the holidays. You might wait all year to carefully wrap each and every gift, including the stocking stuffer items, while your boyfriend can’t wait to chop down his own Christmas tree. You may think such an activity is preposterous, while he can’t understand why you’re wrapping gifts that go into a stocking. Before the holidays, discuss your family traditions and which ones you’d like to each keep. That way you can make room ahead of time for both of your holiday wishes.

3. Delegate tasks and errands. Shopping during the holiday season can be lengthy and at times monotonous. It may seem like a great idea to shop together, but your guy may react to a shopping trip like a cat getting its first bath. He may fidget and get severely agitated at the long lines or at helping you pick between two seemingly identical gifts. What’s fun for you could be a painful experience for him.

But what can you do when you have to buy gifts for your family and his family? Make a list ahead of time and decide who is getting what. Split the list down the middle and have each of you shop separately or buy your items online. Feel free to invite your closest female friend along when you shop instead.

Before your list is completely purchased, you can save buying the last gifts together, such as gifts for each parent to spend time together. It’ll be an easier trip that lasts a couple of hours.

Don’t forget to smile; this is all part of sharing your life with someone you love.

Sources:
Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2009). Working with cohabitation in relationship education and therapy. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapies, 8(2), 95-112.

By Brittany Roshelle Davis